How To Handle 5 Quiet Indicators Of Workplace Frienemies

For working professionals, having a buddy at work is like hitting the jackpot. Our work pals are the ones who really help us get through tough and stressful times, and they also cheer us on when we succeed. But, not every coworker who acts friendly actually has our best interests at heart. In fact, some might even be secretly trying to undermine you, they’re what we call ‘frienemies’. Unlike clear cut rivals, frienemies can be tricky to identify because they blend praise with criticism and support with sabotage. They might be all smiles in front of you while scheming behind your back. If you find yourself feeling confused, exhausted, or second-guessing your gut after chatting with a certain colleague, you might be dealing with one of these frienemies.

They Gossip Behind Your Back

Frienemies act like they’re your buddies when you’re around. But as soon as you leave, they jump at the chance to talk trash and spread rumors about you. Eventually, you’ll find out about it.

How to handle it: Don’t pay attention to your critics; just concentrate on your work and enhance your reputation through your efforts and professionalism. If you catch wind of any gossip, calmly address it or take it up with HR if needed.

They Seem Supportive In Public But Critical In Private

Frienemies put on a friendly face during meetings but will tear down your ideas when no one is listening.

What to do: Establish your limits. Only take their feedback seriously if it’s actually helpful. If their remarks come off as more personal than useful, try to keep your emotional distance. Concentrate on constructive criticism and look for advice from mentors or reliable colleagues.

Throw Out Backhanded Compliments

Frienemies might be envious of you, but they usually hide it behind compliments that feel off. For instance, they could say, “You did pretty well for someone who’s inexperienced”, or “You’re fortunate to get noticed even though you’re so quiet”. These kinds of compliments subtly undermine your skills while pretending to cheer you on. Such remarks are masked as praise, but they quietly drag you down, and it’s a big red flag you shouldn’t overlook.

How to handle it: Don’t let your emotions take over. Instead, just acknowledge the compliment politely and move on. Try not to share too much with these types of people, and they’ll start to see the error in their ways.

Disappear When You Achieve Success

A true friend sticks around during hard times and in your victories. They genuinely rejoice in your accomplishments. On the other hand, a frienemy disappears or minimizes your achievements. Why is that?
Because deep down, they feel envious of you. Their unease with your progress is a major warning sign.

How to handle it: Don’t seek their approval. Instead, fill your life with people who are truly your friends.

Secretly Compete With You

Frienemies can be really cutthroat. Rather than being upfront about their competition, they aim to outshine you in secret. They might mimic your ideas, your work style, and even try to take your friends all while acting like they’re being supportive or friendly. Watch out for these types, and it’s wise to keep your distance from them.

How to handle it: Maintain a record of your contributions to the team or company and regularly update your boss with feedback, so no one else can claim your credit. Don’t let office politics and frienemies get in the way of your work. Let your achievements do the talking.